Thursday, April 25, 2013

Nothing Went Wrong: The Italy Chronicles

What's this I hear you ask? A moderately positive post title? Well don't worry dear readers I'm not dying from some unknown illness nor am I having some form of a breakdown. I am simply still reeling from the shock of going on a holiday and having absolutely everything (and yes that even includes Deutsche Bahn) go as planned.
So in another moment of madness gobs*ite here agreed to get on another plane, this time to the country that brought us pizza, pasta and Leonardo da Vinci, Italia. 

Now our flight was to Milan, but as none of us were in the mood to remortgage our non existent houses we decided to make the lakeside town of Como our base.
Upon landing and having feeling return to our hands (apparently crippling fear gives me superhuman strength and for that I can only apologize) I got to live out a lifelong dream. We had someone waiting at arrivals with a sign. A SIGN. What can I say, I'm easily impressed. After a rather luxurious bus ride we pulled up outside the entrance to our hostel, if you use the term entrance very loosely. It was a hiking trail up a mountain. Genuinely. Thankfully the lovely lady at the hostel came down to collect us otherwise this entry would be less humorous anecdotal recap more obituary. 

So what was done in Como I hear you ask? Well we of course visited all the main tourist attractions with eating featuring heavily at every possible interval. One of my favourite moments (excluding the delicious delicious ice-cream) was most definitely the sun-soaked boat ride around the lake. Though while very beautiful and incredibly enjoyable I couldn't help but feel guilty. My reason? Well we had left Konstanz, a sunny tourist town on the bank of a lake surrounded by mountains to go to Como a sunny.....well you get the picture, but my beloved Konstanz appears to have forgiven my indiscretion so all is well.
The funicolare (cable car to you and me) was also conducive to having a nice time. The sight from the top was pretty spectacular.
We spent most of out time just wandering and seeing what was to be seen but since falling down the side of a mountain only to be lost forever didn't feature too highly on anyone's list of things we wanted to accomplish list we decided to head on back to base-camp before the night closed in.

The final day was spent in Milano. We were quite thankful we didn't spend the entirety if the trip there as it would have been a tad beyond budget but having the day to wander around in the sun was incredibly enjoyable. The Duomo Cathedral was very beautiful, though the fact that it had an advertisement for Baileys on the side of it, though good marketing, was a bit odd. It was also pretty difficult to get into. The whole cover your shoulders/no shorts rule is strictly enforced. You also have to empty your bags. Though apparently if you're carrying a massive backpack full to bursting this can be skipped over.
After this it was chill out in the sun time before getting back on the panic inducing metal cylinder known as an aeroplane and back to all things German, which thankfully included efficient airport layouts and a mad dash for the underground.

So what's left to tell you? Why a few things you never knew you needed to know in everybody's favourite format of course!

  • Upon arrival in foreign lands you may be confronted with a thing locals refer to as 'the sun' proceed with caution as it may lead to burning.
  • Pasta in Italy just tastes better.
  • The same can be said for Pizza.
  • and Gelato.
  • A lot of fun can be had with cards.
  • Backgammon isn't as difficult to play as it seems.
  • Rhys shouldn't leave his camera unattended when Rosie, myself and a friendly waiter are around.
  • When your name is Italian slang for blowjob expect some funny looks. (Sorry Pippa)
  • Likewise if you claim to be British to save on story telling and then proceed to hand someone an Irish passport you will also receive funny looks.
  • If there's a pleasant view nearby, regardless if you can actually see it or not expect the beer to be expensive. Very very expensive.
  • Getting on the last train by the skin of your teeth and not having to wait until 3am for the next one is a situation which can only lead to pure unadulterated joy.
  • All you really need to have an amazing time is good company.

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